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The current period signifies a full decade since the phrase “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the notion that someone could abruptly cease communication with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the peak of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, finding a partner has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes unsuccessful endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to navigate love, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is interested or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to couples who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions confirm your choice to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, largely harmless quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial repulsions that immediately shut down any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic act.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {